Legacy Youth Ministry Resources

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Boundaries in Vietnam

Some of you love the rush that comes from living on the edge. You know, like telling your parents you are going to Sue?s house, while Sue tells her parents she?s going to your house. But both of you end up at the all night party at Bob?s house. Or like taking that occasional dare to drag race your car on a lonely road in the middle of the night. Or secretly dating that person that your parents would never approve of. You may brush it off as ?just a stage that everyone goes through.? But every now and then, when you realize what your lifestyle could cost, you shudder, because whether you casually call it ?living on the edge? or dismiss it as ?a stage I?m going through,? you know you are sneaking out from under the umbrella of protection that God has placed over you for your protection. A fellow named Mike had an experience in the Vietnam War that has kept him contentedly under the umbrella ever since. Upon arriving in Nam, he was assigned to join an elite group of Green Berets in a camp right on the edge of enemy lines. These Special Forces were trained in hand-to-hand combat and search-and-destroy missions. Their protective boundaries included two eight-foot barbed-wire fences and a hundred-yard clearing beyond the fences, which was laced with land mines. When the Beret?s needed to leave or return from patrol, they knew the paths through the mines. One day a fellow under Mike?s command decided to venture outside the boundaries for some fruit in the nearby jungle. After all, they had seen no signs of the enemy since they had arrived, and the fruit had been tempting them all. So as his buddies watched, the friend followed a path he had learned, venturing to the edge of the forest. But suddenly, he whirled around and made desperate run for the fence. But it was too late. The sickening sound of enemy weapons filled the air, tearing him to pieces in moments. The enemy came pouring in from the jungle, putting on an intense fight for hours. Fortunately, Mike survived. Back in the States, he shared the lesson he learned from this incident: ?You want to know why I don?t fight God when it comes to areas he tells me in His Word to avoid? Because I?ve seen what it?s like to walk outside the fence, and I don?t want any part of it.? (Tim Kimmel, Little House On The Freeway, pp. 73,74) ? Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved

Fostering Respect

I heard of a man who saved his money diligently during his life so that he was able to retire comfortably with a house and much land. But eventually he had to sell the land, not because of his own financial problems, but to bail his son out of his problems. His son had been caught trafficking cocaine, and the father claimed responsibility. Why did the father feel responsible? The father said, ?I always found fault with every governing official. I fostered a basic disrespect in my son for people in authority. ? Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved

Setting Boundaries

A 1994 study published in Child Development Journal (by Laurence Steinberg) found higher incidences of anxiety, depression, behavioral problems and alcohol abuse in overindulgent families than families where children had consistent boundaries and responsibilities. (cited in Parents Magazine, March, ?96, p. 80)

Kites and String

A kite strains against the restricting force of its string. But should it break free, it would experience but a brief moment of exhilarating freedom before first floundering, and then tumbling to the ground. As a kite can't fly without the restricting force of its string, so we can't maximize our potential while cutting the strings that guide and protect us. True freedom is found, not in escaping all authority and accountability, but in respecting and welcoming it. ? Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved

Authorities in Back to the Future

In Part One of the Back to the Future trilogy, Michael J. Fox plays Marty McFly, a cool and talented student who is surrounded by goofy authority figures. How many of you saw the movie? His dad is a geek who is controlled by Marty?s mom. His principal is a clueless disciplinarian who seems to enjoy reminding Marty that he?s a ?slacker,? who, like his father, won?t amount to anything. How many of you think that this is typical of the way authority figures are presented in youth movies? What other movies or TV shows can you think of that present authority figures as either unsympathetic, clueless, or worse? (The principal in Matilda, Adam Sandler?s father in Big Daddy, Rug Rat?s Parents, parodies of presidents in Comedy Central, parents in Small Soldiers, etc.) ? Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved

Hendrix, Joplin, and Morrison Rebel

They were three of the brightest stars of the 60?s. All three are rock legends, their names forever etched in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Many today still consider Jimi Hendrix the greatest guitarist who ever lived. His creative innovations indelibly impacted the future of rock. Jim Morrison, lead singer of The Doors, had a brilliant, creative mind and published poetry that some consider world class. Janis Joplin was so popular as to be hailed ?the first goddess of rock.? All three sold millions of albums. All three performed before thousands of adoring fans. Their biographies have sold millions of copies. But all three died tragic, sudden deaths in chilling testimony to the truth of these verses. You see, although these artists had incredible talent and charisma, they lived way out on the edge, ignoring the warnings of both their authorities and those who loved them most. And while searching for freedom, all three found themselves enslaved to their destructive passions. Seemingly in the midst of great careers, just like the Proverb said, they were suddenly gone. Hendrix was in the midst of recording a new album when he overdosed on barbituates, choking to death on his own vomit. Upon hearing of his death, Joplin cursed and lamented that he?d beaten her to it. Two weeks later, when she had almost completed recording an album, she shot up some unusually pure heroin in her hotel room, went down to the lobby to purchase some cigarettes, returned to her room, and fell down dead. Within a year, while Morrison was working on material for a new album, he sank into a deep depression and was found dead in his bathtub of a heart attack. Just as Solomon had warned thousands of years ago, they refused to change when they were warned. And they fell suddenly, without remedy. Incredibly, they all died at the young age of 27. (Sources: No One Gets Out of Here Alive, by Jerry Hopkins and Danny Sugerman, plus various internet sites.) ? Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved

Newton's Rebellion

John Newton?s godly mom taught him the Bible from an early age. But during his teen years he decided to turn against God, become a sailor, and take charge of his own life. He became an atheist and threw away all the morals his mom had taught him. At first, it seemed so freeing. He could say anything he wanted to, even inventing new ways to blaspheme God. He had no sexual restrictions. He treated people the way he wanted to treat them. But no one can live that way without consequences. What looks like the ultimate freedom quickly turns into the ultimate bondage. Eventually, some of the people he treated poorly became his authorities and treated him mercilessly. He was traded to a slaver in Africa who eventually treated him like a slave. In fact, Newton sunk so low that he became a despised servant of slaves. He once found himself on his hands and knees digging up roots to have enough to eat. It was the ?Prodigal Son? story all over again! Newton managed to escape Africa, only to find himself desperately bailing water off a storm-tossed ship at sea. They barely survived the storm, but found themselves drifting dangerously northward with no wind to take them back to England. The weather grew colder and their food supply dwindled. And just when he must have wondered what else could possibly go wrong, the captain began to draw a parallel between their trials and the story of Jonah. The captain surmised that John, with his blasphemies and rebellion, was just like rebellious Jonah, who was the cause of his troubled ship at sea. John shuddered. He knew where the captain was going with the story. The Old Testament seamen threw Jonah overboard in order to save their ship. By the grace of God, the winds shifted, Newton made it home alive, was saved and became a preacher, but not until he had reaped the horrible consequences of what originally looked like the ultimate freedom. Only then could he understand the grace of God to save such a rebellious wretch, and write the song Amazing Grace, which would become a one of the most-loved hymns of the church. Think about Newton?s life the next time you sing it. [Source: Amazing Grace, (The Dramatic Life Story of John Newton), by John Pollock, Harper and Row, 1981.]John Newton?s background may tell us something about his rebellion. He had a loving mom, but she died before his 7th birthday. His dad was a ship captain who ran his family the same way he ran his ships. He expected John to jump at his every order and never showed any affection. John couldn?t even laugh in his father?s presence unless his father laughed first. He feared his dad. His other authority figures were also negative. When his father remarried and left for sea, he left John with a stepmom who didn?t love him. School was no better than home. His headmaster was a tyrant. (Source, Amazing Grace, opt. cite) In the light of John?s bad experiences with authorities, it?s no shock that he rebelled. Neither is it surprising that he enjoyed cursing God, the ultimate authority. A recent study found that many atheists had poor relationships with their father, which they transferred over to a hate for God the Father. (Faith of the Fatherless, by New York University psychology professor Paul Vitz)

Big Daddy & Authority

Play a clip from the movie, Big Daddy, where Adam Sandler has a heated conversation with his father on the phone and explains the situation to the child over which he is custodian. Sandler calls to a nearby young man whose appearance would turn off any father. He tells him that he knows he hates his father. The man tells Sandler to mind his own business. Sandler replies and the man admits as he walks away, ?I hate my father!? A great example of how many rebel because of a poor father figure. ? Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved

Jim Morrison Rebels

Jim Morrison of the wildly successful 60's rock group, "The Doors," had all the potential in the world. With an IQ of 149, he breezed through school with high grades and little effort. His parents took care of his material needs. Among classmates he had the kind of personality that made him fun to be around, saying and doing off-the-wall stuff that made everyone laugh. It was probably his ninth grade year when he tied one end of a string around his ear and kept the other end in his mouth. When people asked about it, he explained that he had a tiny bucket hanging down his throat to collect saliva for a medical test. His parents paid for his college education. Once he got into music, he had that rare magnetism that record companies look for ? the ability to draw in an audience and hold them spell bound. But with all this potential, he spent much of his days in gloom and misery, abusing his body with massive amounts of drugs and alcohol until his heart called it quits at the age of 27. What happened? I think that at the root of his fall was his rebellion against his parents and the wisdom of his authorities. (Listen up, guys. Because some of you will see yourself in Jim?s childhood.) Even in the fifth grade he loved to shock his elders with his language. His den mother kicked him out of cub scouts for sassing her. In his middle school years he refused to participate in family functions. In high school he resented authorities. When he got kicked out of a theatre for causing a disturbance, he smarted off to the policeman. Later in life he would often call them pigs, whether or not they had done anything to him. Instead of trying to please his parents, he drank, drew lewd drawings, and read books that glorified rebellion, like books on demonology. He cheated openly in class and laughed at his mom when she got mad at him. The apostle Peter described Morrison?s character in II Peter 2:10,18,19: ??those who follow the corrupt desire of the sinful nature and despise authority?. They promise? freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity ? for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him.? Where did his rebel lifestyle lead him? Jim became progressively more callous, cruel, and out of control throughout his life. His writings show an obsession with death, violence, sex and magic. He felt no loyalty to his girlfriends and sometimes threatened them with knives. He did his faithful girlfriend Pamela a favor by introducing her to drugs. She would later die of an overdose. He once married a girl in a witch?s ceremony, but later told her he would take no responsibility for his child with which she was pregnant. He said that having the child would ruin their friendship and he would take no responsibility for it. He promised that he?d be at her side to support her if she had an abortion. She went through with the abortion - alone. Jim?s publicist wanted a statement to define his purpose and direction. In part, it read, ?I?ve always been attracted to ideas that were about revolt against authority?I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder, chaos, especially activity that seems to have no meaning.? When the publicist wanted information about his parents and family for a fact sheet, he said that he had no family and that his parents were dead. Although someone objected that this would be unkind to his parents, he wouldn?t budge. Like all parents, I?m sure that Jim Morrison?s had their shortcomings. But they at least deserved his respect. They paid for his clothes and provided a secure place to live. He never had to work during high school and they paid his way through college. But he never seemed grateful or thankful. The only way his mom could get him to write home was to withhold his spending money until he wrote. When his mom and brother came to his concert to see him, he refused to even meet with them. Eventually, he stopped keeping in touch altogether and told his managers that he didn?t want to ever talk to her again. His rejection of all authority didn?t bring freedom. He became enslaved to his appetites. His drinking got so out of control that the band had to hire baby sitters to accompany him to ensure he would show for their concerts. At the age of 27, his abused body finally gave up and he was found dead in his bathtub.(Source: No One Gets Out of Here Alive, by Jerry Hopkins and Danny Sugerman) ? Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved

Youth Minister Versus Leadership

A youth minister wanted to use contemporary Christian music with his students, but some of the church leadership objected. He offered a creative alternative patterned after Daniel?s situation. He suggested, ?Let the youth listen to this music for a period of time. If they are worse for it, we?ll stop promoting it. If they are better, we?ll continue promoting it.? When the leadership saw the positive difference it made, they backed off. ? Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved

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