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Activity on Appreciation

Care For People

Don't Overlook the Troublemakers

Biehls Forgive

In South Africa, four black students attended a radical political rally that condemned all white people as their enemies. After all, whites had taken their land, oppressed them and taken away their rights for years. The rally referred to all whites as ?settlers?and cried, ?One settler, one bullet.? That evening the four students spotted a young white girl named Amy Biehl who was driving some black students home in their township. Someone threw a brick through her windshield. She tried to run, but the students caught her, beat her with stones, and stabbed her until she died.

The irony of this hate crime was that if they had only known her, they would have loved her. Little did they know that Amy?s life was dedicated to fighting for their cause. You see, Amy Biehl was an American exchange student who was inspired as a high school student by the imprisoned black South African leader Nelson Mandela. She never lost the vision of helping South African blacks. At the bottom of her letters she would write, ?FREE MANDELA!? She wrote ?FREE MANDALA!? on her graduation cap for all attending Stanford University?s graduation to see. A Fulbright scholarship allowed her to study in South Africa, befriend blacks, and organize voter education in black communities to ready them for the upcoming free elections.

Those who knew her loved her. She was funny, outgoing, and friendly. She had about completed her work and was ready to leave the country in two days. But her dreams were cut short by four of the very people she had dedicated her life to help.  They killed one of the best friends they could have ever had. She came to fight racism, but died for the color of her skin. Her attackers never took the time to find out who lived inside of that white skin. And beyond killing her, they also killed something inside those who loved her: her many black and white friends, her mom, dad, brother, sister, and a boyfriend who was ready to propose to her when she returned home. (Sources: Dave Dorr; Of The Post-Dispatch Staff, IN THE STEPS OF A SLAIN SCHOLAR. , St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 09-09-1997, pp 03D; DON KLADSTRUP, DIANE SAWYER, INSIDE THE STRUGGLE. , ABC Turning Point, 08-07-1997.)But the story doesn?t end at her death. Her parents, Peter and Linda, could have carried on the chain of racism by seething with hatred for the blacks who killed their daughter. Instead, they did the unthinkable. They forgave the killers. They visited the killers? parents, identified with their pain, and hugged them. And they refused to get bitter when the killers were released after only four years. Rather, they went beyond forgiveness to set up a foundation in South Africa that continues their daughter?s work in the very area where she was murdered. They spend more time there than in America these days. They train students to bake bread and help them set up their own businesses. They provide art, music and welding classes as well as tutorials for students wanting to get into college. Thousands of lives are being touched. Why? Because Peter and Linda Biehl stopped the chain. They were willing to forgive. According to Peter, ?It?s liberating to forgive. We can sleep at night and we can feel totally at ease. You can?t do that if you?re harboring hate or anger?.? Of their work in South Africa he says, ?It just absolutely sets me free.? (Sources: 1. Andrew M. Greeley, Commentary // Parents of Amy Biehl find `it's liberating to forgive'. , Minneapolis Star Tribune, 08-16-1997, pp 07B. 2. Amy's Story, CBS ( 60 Minutes (CBS) ) Lesley Stahl; 01-18-1999)

Do you need to be set free? The choice is in your hands. Do you want to live in bondage to your anger and prejudices? Or, do you want to be set free? Jesus set the pace by forgiving those who tortured Him to death on the cross. Will you follow His example? Come on. Break the chain.
? Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved

Even Schwarznegger Needs Parents' Praise

At 15 years of age, Arnold Schwarzenegger had his first work-out with weights and soon set his sights on become the greatest living body builder. Incredibly, within four years of extremely disciplined training, he placed second in the Mr. Universe contest. The next year, at age 20, he won the contest before the roaring applause of thousands of fans. You would have thought that this honor would have been enough to fulfill anyone. But it wasn?t enough to have the approval of his body building fans. He wanted the approval of his parents.

But when he called home to tell them the news of his incredible accomplishment, although they were glad to hear from him, they couldn?t share his excitement because they had no clue as to what he had just accomplished. You see, they didn?t understand Arnold?s love for body building. Nor did they understand the sport. Apparently, they had never tried to understand his dreams, at least not enough to share his excitement about something he had given his all to obtain. Instead, they were disappointed that he hadn?t yet finished college and gotten a ?real job.?

After he hung up the phone, this 250 pounds of solid muscle, this newly crowned Mr. Universe was brought to despondency over a little phone call. According to Schwarzenegger, ?After I hung up the phone I felt depressed. I told myself it was because they couldn?t relate to a world championship in bodybuilding. Because they had never seen anything like it. ? I felt they ought to have at least realized what it meant to me.?

He had to try hard to put that blow out of his mind. But finally (and this statement should send a chill down every parent?s spine) Arnold writes, ??I started looking for the approval of the other people.? (Arnold, The Education of a Bodybuilder, by Arnold Schwarzenegger and Douglas Kent Hall, A Fireside Book, New York, pp. 81,82)

Parents and small group leaders, do you encourage your children and students for their accomplishments? Do you try to get inside of them to understand their loves and goals and dreams? Even if you can?t relate to their interests, can you at least try to realize how much those interest mean to them? If you don?t, you will lose them as they forsake you to search for approval elsewhere. ? Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved

Jamie Loves Cassie to Jesus

Jamie was considered one of the weird girls at her school. While most of the others dressed fairly preppy, she dressed grungy, complete with big chains and metal beads around her neck, and short, bleached-blonde hair. But Jamie was a Christian, and when a new ninth grade girl transferred into her school, Jamie was the one who stubbornly loved her and prayed for her. I say ?stubbornly? because the new girl apparently didn?t want a friend. At first Jamie would just say ?hello,? and the new girl would just give those ?Don?t talk to me? signals. She was closed off, bitter, hopeless ? and seemed like she wanted to stay that way. But every day Jamie kept trying to break through the hard shell and pray that the new girl would respond. 
When the girl finally opened up enough to talk, Jamie tried to bring God into the conversation and silently pray for a response. But the girl responded, ?There?s no way I can love God? and went on to explain that she had given her soul to Satan. But Jamie refused to give up. 
The new girl was heavy into darkness and wrote dark, suicidal poems. She brought a file to school and sometimes cut herself with it. She often considered suicide. Turns out she was seething with rage because her parents had taken her away from her friends and had moved her to a new school. 
But Jamie never gave up. She invited the new girl to her church group retreat. She felt the new girl would relate to the youth in the group, since many of them dressed like punk rockers with weird hair. Her parents freaked a little when they let their daughter off in the parking lot to go to the retreat. From the way the kids dressed, it appeared that they were letting their daughter go with a group like the kids they were trying to get her away from. But they let her go. And they were glad they did. 
Because at that weekend retreat, God opened her eyes and she poured out her heart to God, asking His forgiveness for all she had done. She went home a different person and never looked back. 
I?m so glad that Jamie never gave up. The girl she stubbornly loved to Jesus was named Cassie Bernall, whose earthly life suddenly ended three years later, when the two gunmen blasted their way through Columbine High School. The story of Cassie?s faith traveled around the world. But the part of the story I want you to remember today is the stubborn love that a teen misfit named Jamie played. You?ve got to wonder whether Cassie would have ever seen the grace of God, had she not seen it through Jamie.  (Facts summarized from: She Said Yes: the unlikely martyrdom of Cassie Bernall, by Misty Bernall, pp. 58-85)
And you know, there are Cassie?s all around you today, in your neighborhood and at school. Some dress preppy and some dress freaky. But they?re confused, hopeless, and desperately need Jesus. And we don?t know how long we have to reach them before they exit this life.  (Taken from ?Grace? Series)

Prostitute Party

Popular Christian professor, author, and speaker Tony Campolo once threw an unusual late night party that well illustrates this point. (While this really happened, he changed the names, setting, and a little of the dialogue.) Campolo flew from the States to Hawaii and found his internal time clock all out of whack. So at 3:30 AM he wandered the streets of Honolulu looking for a place to eat. Finding a sleazy, greasy diner still open, he sat down and ordered a cup of coffee and a donut. About that time, eight or nine prostitutes came in and sat down on either side of him. Campolo suddenly felt an urge to make his exit but decided to stay when he overheard their conversation. A prostitute named Agnes said that she would be thirty-nine the next day. Her ?friend? replied, ?So what do you want from me? A birthday party? What do you want? Ya want me to get you a cake and sing ?Happy Birthday???
	Agnes chided her for being so cruel and ends by saying, ?I?ve never had a birthday party in my whole life. Why should I have one now??
	After hearing that, Campolo hung around till the women left. Then he asked Harry, the greasy man behind the counter, about them. Upon finding that they came in every night, he suggested that they throw a party for Agnes. Harry loved the idea and called his wife out of the back room to share it with her. She said, ?That?s wonderful! You know Agnes is one of those people who is really nice and kind, and nobody ever does anything nice and kind for her."
	So early the next morning they did everything up right. Harry baked the cake and Campolo decorated the entire diner, complete with crepe-paper decorations and a sign that read, ?Happy Birthday, Agnes!? Somehow, the word must have gotten out about the party, because by 3:15 AM Campolo found himself in a restaurant packed with prostitutes!  When Agnes arrived at 3:30 sharp, they screamed in unison, ?Happy Birthday!?
	Agnes was so stunned that she could hardly stand up. And when the cake arrived with all the candles lit and the accompanying birthday song that she had probably never heard sung in her honor, she began to weep. She couldn?t bring herself to cut the cake, hesitantly asking if anyone would mind if she just kept it for awhile.  
	Campolo no doubt stunned everyone by offering to lead in a prayer.  Afterwards, Harry said, ?Hey! You never told me you were a preacher. What kind of church do you belong to?? He responded, ?I belong to a church that throws birthday parties for whores at 3:30 in the morning.? After a pause, Harry almost sneered his answer. ?No you don?t. There?s no church like that. If there was, I?d join it. I?d join a church like that!?(Condensed from Tony Campolo, The Kingdom of God is a Party, Word Publishing, 1990, pp. 3-9. Used by permission.)

Acts of Kindness

Steve Sjogren (show?grin) was one frustrated pastor. He worked hard at his ministry, speaking to people day after day about God?s love and his vision for starting a church. But people just didn?t seem interested. Ninety seven percent of the 1000 plus people that he talked to rejected him. After two full years of rejection after rejection, he had a small group of 37 people to show for all his efforts. But then something happened. Something so amazing that after seven years, over two thousand people were attending his church. Plus, they launched 12 other churches in the area. After 10 more years, 4,500 people were regularly attending. What happened to turn things around? 
Instead of trying to pull people into the church, pastor Steve and his small group of believers began looking for ways to show grace to people. They found needs in the community and began meeting those needs. They washed the windows of passing cars, cleaned toilets at businesses, gave away hot drinks to shoppers on cold days, gave away cold drinks on hot days, wrapped  people?s gifts at malls during the Christmas season,  and served in many other ways.  And everything was free with no strings attached (that?s grace). When people asked why they were doing it, they?d reply, ?We just want to show you God?s love in a practical way? and leave them with a business card with the name and address of the church on it.  
People couldn?t believe it. Some would begin to weep. Some would begin to ask questions and open up their hearts. Some would ask for prayer. People expected Christians to preach at them or ask them for money. Instead, these Christians caught them off guard, confusing them with kindness. For most people, there was no immediate response. But over time people began to talk about the church that showed God?s love by serving.  
?Small things done with great love will change the world.?
Pastor Steve and his flock don?t serve people just to get them into their church. They serve because their Master served. But as a result, in one year alone, 5,000 people visited their church, 60% of whom were unchurched. I think the saying etched over the entrance to their church explains their ?secret? well: ?Small things done with great love will change the world.?

Throwing Darts...at Jesus

TAKING AIM

Hint: Use as either an illustration or replicate the object lesson.

A young lady named Sally relates an experience she had in a seminary class 
given by her teacher, who we'll call "Brother Smith". She says Brother Smith 
was known for his elaborate object lessons.

One particular day, Sally walked into seminary and knew they were in for 
another day of fun. On the wall was a big target and on a nearby table were 
many darts. Brother Smith told the students to draw a picture of someone that 
they disliked or someone who had made them angry.....he would allow them to 
throw darts at the person's picture.

Sally's girlfriend on her right drew a picture of a girl who had stolen her 
boyfriend; another friend on her left drew a picture of his little brother. 
Sally drew a picture of Brother Smith, putting a great deal of detail into 
her drawing, even the pimples on his face. Sally was quite pleased at the 
overall effect she had achieved. The class lined up and began throwing darts, 
with much laughter and hilarity. Some of the students threw their darts with 
such force that their targets were ripping apart. Sally looked forward to her 
turn and was filled with disappointment when Brother Smith, because of time 
limits, asked the students to return to their seats.

As Sally sat thinking about how angry she was because she didn't have a 
chance to throw any darts at her target, Brother Smith began removing the 
target from the wall. Underneath the target was a picture of Jesus.   A 
complete hush fell over the room as each student viewed the mangled picture 
of Jesus.....holes and jagged marks covered His face and His eyes were 
pierced out.

Brother Smith said only these words, "In as much as ye have done it unto the 
least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto Me." No other words were 
necessary. The tear-filled eyes of each student focused only on the picture 
of Christ. The students remained in their seats.....even after the bell 
rang.....then slowly left the classroom, tears streaming down their faces!

"And the King will answer and say to them, 'Truly,  I say to you, to the 
extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of 
them, you did it to Me.' Matthew 25:40

Mel Gibson's Sister

The Power of Encouragement

Mel Gibson is one of the most successful actors/directors in Hollywood. You know him from such movies as Brave Heart, Lethal Weapon, The Patriot, and even a voice in Chicken Run. But he would have never gotten into acting had it not been for the encouragement of his big sister. You see, his dad won $21,000 dollars playing Jeopardy and moved his family to Australia to keep his children from being drafted into the Vietnam war. As a teen Mel hated school and hated being teased for his accent. He turned into a loser who kept getting in trouble and skipped school for the pool hall. After high school, he did odd jobs like waxing surfboards and bagging groceries. His life was headed nowhere.

But Mel?s sister cared too much for him to let him waste his life. Although he?d never considered acting, she encouraged him to audition ate the prestigious National Institute of Dramatic Arts in Sydney. And her encouragement went past mere words. She paid his audition fee and helped him prepare for the audition. He got his first part as ?Romeo? and the rest is history. But catch the impact of this: If it hadn?t have been for the encouragement of his sister, Mel Gibson could have been still waxing surfboards and bagging groceries. She changed the entire course of her brother?s life by forgetting her personal interests long enough to encourage her brother.

What would our youth groups be like if we caught the vision of becoming people blossomers ? instead of walking into the group each week thinking ?I hope everyone thinks I?m cool,? you come thinking ?I wonder who I can encourage today?? That one change could revolutionize your youth group and change the course of many lives.

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