Legacy Youth Ministry Resources

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Drew Barrymore Masks Her Pain

You'd think that Drew Barrymore had it all. Her acting success began by appearing on TV before her first birthday, then again at ages 2 and 4. She hit stardom at age 7 playing the little girl in Spielberg's smash hit, E.T. At 7 years old, she was the youngest person to ever host Saturday Night Live. You'd think she was living every child's dream. She had talent. She was famous. Yet, her life proves that outward success doesn't bring inner contentment or a healthy self image. Inside, the little star was hurting. You see, her dad always put her down and split with her mom when she was young. Her dysfunctional mom carried her around from club to club - not the greatest atmosphere for a child. Instead of seeing herself as a person of great worth created in the image of her creator, she developed a self image based on her lack of acceptance by her father and the put downs of people at school. One of her teachers hurt her deeply. In her own words, ?There was trouble every day, but on one day in particular, when I didn?t do an in-class assignment properly, the teacher called me on it. He didn?t just tell me I did it incorrectly. He didn?t even criticize me. No. Instead, in front of the entire class, he told me that I was stupid. Stupid! And that I wasn?t ever going to amount to anything." ?I think you?re headed toward failure, young lady,? he said in front of everybody. ?And I don?t think there?s anything I can do to help.? "I wanted to crawl inside myself and die. But there was no escape. I vowed not to show any emotion though. I sat there, stone-faced, crying on the inside and completely humiliated. Why that teacher seemed bent on destroying me is beyond my comprehension.? The words of the insensitive teacher were reinforced by a group of cruel students who delighted in tormenting her. They hit her with books and called her names, like pig, fatso, or saying her nose looked like Porky Pig's. She countered by trying like everything to fit in. So one day she got these surfer shorts with a spaceman design that she thought everyone would like. Instead, they burst out laughing when she walked into class, calling her a "cosmic cow." With low self-esteem as a gift from her dad, she couldn't stand up for herself or even convince herself that the boys were just jerks. She believed their cutting words. In her own words, "I just took their cutting remarks until, eventually, I let them completely undermine everything I knew to be true.? (p. 99) She ended up "feeling like the lowliest, homeliest, and dumbest creature at the place." (p. 124) Let's reflect for a minute on what happened to Drew's picture of herself. Although she had a gift for acting and achieved fame by age 7, she believed people's cutting remarks to the point that she felt totally worthless. With the people around her as her only mirror to see herself, she felt dumb and ugly. Was her impression right? Not at all. Ironically, this little girl who saw herself as a worthless failure, a "cosmic cow," "pig" and "fatso" would later be chosen by "People" magazine as one of the 50 most beautiful people in the world. This girl that the teacher called "stupid" and "headed for failure" would be paid $26 million to star in the movies "Ever After" and both "Charlies' Angels" movies. How did flawed self-image affect her? First, she turned to drugs and alcohol to try to escape her pain rather than deal with it. (p. 124) By age 8 she was smoking cigarettes and had her first drink at age 9. By age 10 she had progressed to smoking marijuana and by 12 she was killing herself by combining massive amounts of alcohol with cocaine. At the age of 13 she was committed to a rehab facility by her mother. (p. 5) What can we learn from Drew? First, remember that your view of yourself may have nothing to do with how you really are. If you think of yourself as an insignificant failure that the world would be better off without, you've internalized a lie. Your Father's the creator of the universe, and He doesn't make any junk. Secondly, don't numb the pain with drugs or drinking. According to Drew, ?The higher I got, the happier I imagined myself, the more miserable I actually was.? (p. 10) Next time you come down from a high, you've got the same bad self image, now made worse because of the long-term effects. Third, don't tie your self-esteem to your success. She discovered that her "desperate need to perform was feed by a deep-seated insecurity and low self-esteem." It was a desperate way to try to get the love and affirmation she lacked. (p. 6) Meditate on God's Word. Absorb His love toward You. Understand that you're significant, created in His image, not matter what the world dishes out to you. (Written by Steve Miller, Copyright May 6, 2002. Sources: Drew Barrymore with Todd Gold, Little Girl Lost, Pocket Books: New York, 1990; http://us.imdb.com/Bio?Barrymore,+Drew )

Eyes in Front to Look Ahead

Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back.

Applaud to Make You Happy

'When somebody does something well, applaud! It will make two people happy.' --Samuel Goldwyn

Charlie Brown on When Times Look Dark

?It always looks darkest just before it gets totally black.? Charlie Brown

Mountain-climbing Over Molehills

?Ulcers are something you get from mountain-climbing over molehills.? Local Government Newsletter

Einstein on Joy and Ethics

??knowledge and skills alone cannot lead humanity to a happy and dignified life. Humanity has every reason to place the proclaimers of high moral standards and values above the discoverers of objective truth. What humanity owes to personalities like Buddha, Moses, and Jesus ranks for me higher than all the achievements of the inquiring and constructive mind.? ?What these blessed men have given us we must guard and try to keep alive with all our strength if humanity is not to lose its dignity, the security of its existence, and its joy of living.? (Sept., 1937 letter, found in Albert Einstein: The Human Side, Selected and edited by Helen Dukas and Banesh Hoffman, Princeton University Press, 1979, pp. 70,71)

Einstein on Lack of Purpose

Albert Einstein didn?t believe in a personal God (p. 43), and recognized the consequent lack of direction in life. He once said, ??we are like shipwrecked people trying to keep their balance on a miserable plank in the open sea, having forgotten where they came from and not knowing whither they are drifting. But once we fully accept this, life becomes easier and there is no longer any disappointment.? But, I would add, neither is there any hope. (1945 letter, found in Albert Einstein: The Human Side, Selected and edited by Helen Dukas and Banesh Hoffman, Princeton University Press, 1979, p. 72)

The Surest Way to Be Miserable

"?The surest way to be miserable,? said George Bernard Shaw, ?is to have the leisure to wonder whether or not you are happy.? We do not usually discover happiness in the pursuit of it. Most often it is a by-product, coming to us as we are in the midst of giving ourselves to another. Jesus said in several contexts and in several ways that we find ourselves by losing ourselves." (The Friendship Factor, by Alan Loy McGinnis, Augsburg Publishing House, 1979, p. 25)

Hudson Taylor Finds Joy in Giving

Hudson Taylor, the great missionary to China, said, ?The less I spent on myself and the more I gave to others, the fuller of happiness and blessing did my soul become.? (Randy Alcorn, The Treasure Principle, Multnomah Press, Sisters, OR, p. 20)

We Are Far Too Easily Pleased

"We are halfhearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at sea. We are far too easily pleased.? (C.S. Lewis in The Weight of Glory, p. 3-4)

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