Legacy Youth Ministry Resources

Illustration texts

Boswell and a "Wasted" Day

It is said of Boswell, the famous biographer of Samuel Johnson, that he often referred to a special day in his childhood when his father took him fishing. The day was fixed in his adult mind, and he often reflected upon many of the things his father had taught him in the course of their fishing experience together. After having heard of that particular excursion so often, it occurred to someone much later to check the journal that Boswell?s father kept and determine what had been said about the fishing trip from the parental perspective. Turning to that date, the reader found only one sentence entered: ?Gone fishing today with my son; a day wasted.? (From the collection of Barry St. Clair)

On Cats and Teens

CATS & TEENAGERS For all of you with teenagers or who have had teenagers, you may want to know why they really have a lot in common with cats: 1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name. 2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot. 3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents. 4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor your teen will ever crack a smile. 5. No cat or teenager shares you taste in music. 6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing. 7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did. 8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter boredom. 9. Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture. 10. Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of behavior. Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times. And remember, above all else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. When they make up their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned. (Source not found, from the collection of Barry St. Clair)

Teens Need Parents' Time

Teen development ?irrevocably damaged? so says the Carnegie Council on Adolescent Development--a 27 memeber panel of researchers, professors, legislators, and youth workers--which recently issued a resport on the collective health of America?s teenagers. After nine years studying 19 million youths, the panel concluded that half of the teens have been neglected to such an extent that their chances of becoming responsible adults may already be ?irrevocably damaged.? Today?s young people, the panel said, have been getting battered by a one-two combination--their parents? preoccupation with their own lives and the growing opinion among adults that teens need little supervision. Increaingly both mothers and fathers have been so personally and professionally stretched that they don?t have time for their children, the study found. And the popular view that teens are just little adults is attributed to a major misunderstanding of the nature of adolescence. The council asserts that 10 to 14 year olds actually need as much--if not more--time with their parents as children aged six to 10 years. (The Carnegie Council on Adolescent Development report, 1995)

Need for Affection and Touching

A free-lance reporter from the New York Times was interviewing Marilyn Monroe years ago. She was aware of Marilyn?s past and the fact that during her early years Marilyn had been shuffled from one foster home to another. The reporter asked Marilyn, ?Did you ever feel loved by any of the foster families with whom you lived?? ?Once,? Marilyn replied, ?when I was about seven or eight. The woman I was living with was putting on makeup, and I was watching her. She was in a happy, so she reached over and patted my cheeks with her rouge puff...For that moment, I felt loved by her.? Promiscuous men and women, women who work as prostitues, and women who repeatedly have unwanted pregnancies have told researchers aht their sexual activity is merely a way of satisfying yearnings to be touched and held. Dr. Marc Hollender, a noted psychiatrist, interviewed scores of women who have had three or more unwanted pregnancies. Overwhelmingly, these women said that they were ?consciously aware that sexual activity was a price to be paid for being cuddled and held.? Touching before intercourse was more pleasurable than intercourse itself, ?which was merely something to be tolerated.? In a similar study with homosexual men, a common characteristic they shared was the absence of meaningful touching by their fathers early in life. Dr. Ross Campbell, in his excellent book, How to Really Love Your Child, comes to a similar conclusion. He writes, ?In all my reading and experience, I have never known of one sexually disoriented person who had a warm, loving, and affectionate father.? (From the collection of Barry St. Clair)

Ozzie Gives Back to His Parents

Many youth consider only what they can get out of their parents, never what they can give back to them. Shame them into action with this Ozzie incident: Ozzie Osborne is the wild and crazy guy who defines the rebellious side of rock and shares his profanity with the world each week on MTV's "The Osbornes." He?s the guy who bit the head off a bat in concert. His first successful band was called Black Sabbath. Given the amount of drugs he?s consumed, it?s a miracle that he?s still alive. Ozzie?s such a wild man that it would be hard to startle me with any of his bizarre behavior. But one thing did. Ozzie lived on (and over) the edge from his childhood on. He even had to serve time in prison as a teen for theft. His parents were poor and although they worked hard, they could hardly make ends meet. Ozzie's shoes wore out and he often went to band practices barefoot. He didn't even have money for underwear. Ozzie wanted more out of life and saw music as his chance to get a life. After playing with a couple of bands that went nowhere, he joined with the band that became "Black Sabbath." His take home money for cutting the first album was a mere $72.50. Now think with me for a minute. Imagine that you're Ozzie Osborne, wild and crazy guy, hot on the track to make it big. What would you do with that money? Buy drugs? Upgrade some equipment? Buy an outrageous outfit? Buy some underwear? Here's what he did with his $72.50, which in 1970 would have gone a lot further than today. He bought for himself a decent pair of shoes and his first bottle of aftershave lotion. Then, he went home and "proudly handed the rest of the money over to his tearful and proud mother." You see, for all Ozzie's bad qualities, he really cared for his parents and wanted to help them. Although they were far from perfect parents, he honored them and wanted to please them. My point? If Black Sabbath lead man Ozzie Osborne cared for his parents and wanted practically to show his love for them, how much more should we who have come to know Christ? What have you done this week to honor your parents (Ephesians 6:1-3)? Since a part of the Great Commandment is to love our neighbors, shouldn't our Christianity be most evident to our closest neighbors, the members of our own family? Since children are to "make some return to their parents" (I Timothy 5:4) for all they have invested in us, have you ever offered to help them with a portion of your paycheck? Do you ever ask them about how their day went or how you could make their lives easier by helping more around the house? Don't let Ozzie outdo you with your parents! (Facts taken from Ozzy Unauthorized, by Sue Crawford, Michael O-Mara Books Limited, 2002, London, p. 44. Written by Steve Miller, copyright August 15, 2002. All rights reserved.)

Kids Will Choose Nursing Home

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Coach to Coach, Football is Irrelevant

In last week's (January, 2003) Super Bowl, Tampa Bay coach Jon Gruden led his Buccaneers to a masterfully orchestrated win over his former team, the Raiders. Since a year ago he was with the Raiders, having built them into Super Bowl material, some people called this match-up "The Gruden Bowl." But there's more to life than football, as he was warned by a former mentor. About 13 years ago, Gruden worked as offensive assistant under Bobb McKittrick. Gruden idolized him, emulating his workaholic lifestyle and writing down everything he said. McKittrick was tough, smart and "spent all his waking hours making decent players great." McKittrick's hard work paid off. He coached the 49er's offensive line for over 20 years. Nine of his linemen went to pro bowls. His teams won five Super Bowls. In 1999, after Gruden's first season coaching the Raiders, he received a sobering phone call. It was McKittrick. "Jon?" McKittrick said over the phone. "I've got cancer and I'm going to die." Gruden stammered a few words, but McKittrick wasn't listening. "I wanted to call and tell you: It's not just about football," McKittrick said. "Go be with your kids and your wife. Football is irrelevant. I don't want you to be like me." Will Gruden heed his advice? Who knows? But the more important question is, will we heed his advice. We have such a dangerous tendency to obsess on what we're good at, or what we most enjoy, neglecting the other great priorities of life. We can even obsess with good things, like ministry, at the expense of loving our families, visiting grandmom, or meeting personally with God. If you were diagnosed today with terminal cancer, would you be able to look back at your life and say, "I lived for things that really counted." (Written by Steve Miller, Copyright January 30, 2003. Sources: Coach Chucky The Buccaneers' Jon Gruden has all the qualities of the perfect NFL coach: He's tireless, hypercritical and, occasionally, scary as hell Date: 09-09-2002; Publication: Sports Illustrated; Author: S.L. Price; also, http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0855464.html

Moms and Grandmoms Start Computer Revolution

Some faithful mom's and grandmothers may have been some of the greatest influences on today's computer revolution. Because of them, Bill Gates and some of his programming buddies were given a passion for reading, a love for thinking, and the opportunity to learn programming before the personal computer existed. Let's start with Bill Gate's grandmother, Adelle Maxwell, affectionately called "Gam." When the kids came home from school, she was there, exerting a major influence over Bill. By reading books to the grandchildren and involving them in the local libraries' summer reading contests (Bill always came in first among the boys) Bill became an avid reader. Gam also sharpened his intellectual skills through games. She had been valedictorian of her class and felt that well-chosen games were great tests of skill and intelligence. She loved games, teaching him double solitaire, fish, gin and bridge. Bill's mom remembers Gam always saying to young Bill as he played Bridge, "Think smart, think smart!" (Written by Steve Miller, copyright Feb., 2003. Source: Stephen Manes and Paul Andrews, Gates: How Microsoft's Mogul Reinvented An Industry - And Made Himself The Richest Man in America, Simon & Schuster, New York, 1994, pp. 17,18) Then there was Bill's mother. When Bill was getting into more trouble than academics at school, she sought out a new school environment. Without making that change, he would have never had the opportunity to form friendships with the other brilliant students and work with computers, which weren't accessible from other schools. Then there was a group of concerned mothers at his school who pulled strings to give Gates and his computer addicts the opportunity to keep programming. When administrators had to shut down the school teletype machine to cut costs, a school mother came to the rescue and got the kids a job at Computer Center Corporation (C-Cubed) searching for programming errors. Just think of the impact of these mothers! Because of their giving students access to computer terminals, before the personal computer had been invented, about a dozen of those high school students became pioneers in computer software. Bill Gates and Paul Allen would co-found Microsoft. (Written by Steve Miller, copyright Feb., 2003. Source: ?Bill Gates Speaks,? Insights from the World?s Greatest Entrepreneur, by Janet Lowe, John Wiley and Sons, 1998. (pp. 3-16)])

Tell Him, Mom!

Mothers When future MicroSoft billionaire Bill Gates was a freshman in college, he and a couple of friends had been working for some time on a device to count traffic on highways. Finally, Gates got a representative from a county engineering department to come to his parent's house and see it work. The night before, everything had worked perfectly, but at the demonstration it failed miserably. So, Bill Gates, the brilliant recipient of a national merit scholarship, student at Harvard University, accomplished programmer, did what most any teenager would. He ran for his mother, begging "Tell him, Mom! Tell him it worked last night!" (Stephen Manes and Paul Andrews, Gates: How Microsoft's Mogul Reinvented An Industry - And Made Himself The Richest Man in America, Simon & Schuster, New York, 1994, pp. 60,61) You can't be too smart or too old to need your parents. When was the last time you thanked your parents for simply being there for you?

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